Bad Boy, You Make Me Feel So Good
by TwiggyFallon
Summary: “How could ya sleep wid’ Conlon?” Jack shouted. “I didn’t mean to sleep with him!” I sighed and looked him straight in the eye. “You know I love someone else.”
1. Loose Ends

**Manhattan, New York City**

**1901**

"Dammit… who took the black thread from my machine?" Margaret demanded, eyeing down Jane and I.

"I don't know," Jane answered absent-mindedly, concentrating on finishing her puff sleeve.

"Norah!" Margaret whined.

"It wasn't me," I convinced her, "I'm using white."

We quickly shut up before "the warden", Mrs. Collins, walked over to us. We immediately looked down and pressed the pedals on our machines fast. After all, we might get compensated for cutting off a finger.

"Ladies, are we working?" She asked, her mustache becoming more and more visible each step she took closer to us.

"Yes, ma'am," we said in unison.

She paused before hovering over Jane's work. "Ms. Carmichael, what an exquisite puff sleeve!" Margaret and I looked over in disbelief that for the first time in her life, Mrs. Collins was giving out a compliment.

"You think so? I've been working on it since noon," Jane replied.

"Mm… since noon?" Mrs. Collins nodded, taking a closer look. "So it _should_ be exquisite."

"She's a _beast_!" Jane exploded into her angry seamstress mode on our lunch break.

"She's not that bad," I sighed, opening my lunch pail.

"Honestly, the next paycheck I get I'm out of here," she said, probably meaning to think it instead of say it.

The rest of our lunch break was mostly uneventful – although we always had things to talk about. After all, we had been friends since we were little, and now that we had just finished school and we all were eighteen, we had all gotten jobs in the factory.

"Remember that boy you dated with the mole the size of a tomato?" Jane asked Margaret. She barely could finish the question without laughing, and I burst out laughing so hard that no one even heard me.

"Oh, shut up! You've had some bad ones, too," Margaret said. "Like _Orville_? That sounds like a noise my grandfather makes when he snores!" Jane was mildly offended, but we all agreed that his name was horrid.

"What was that newsboy's name you dated, Nor?" She asked curiously, not even scrunching up her nose while mentioning him.

"I thought this was a _bad_ ex-boyfriend bash talk," I laughed.

"No, seriously, what was his name? I liked him. Well – despite the fact that he never bathed," she giggled.

"Skittery – I mean, James. James Clark."

"Yes, that's the one!" Jane exclaimed, like they had a secret about him.

"What? What about him?" I asked suspiciously.

"He asked us if we wanted to buy a paper on our way to work," Margaret smiled.

"Oh, well. It's probably better that I didn't see him," I replied, trying not to show any emotion.

"Are you alright?" Jane asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm just tired, that's all. Lucy kept my mother up all night with her crying."

Margaret shook her head. "Same with John. Well, he's two, but he had a horrible tantrum that seemed to go on for hours and hours!"

Suddenly we heard the bell ring, so we hurried back inside, and I tried as hard as I could not to think about Skittery.

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**Manhattan Newsboys Lodging House**

**1899**

I went up those steps that I had come to know so well, although this time I did not have my usual enthusiasm when I went upstairs. I was hoping that Skittery would be out playing poker so I didn't have to do this – not now. But when I saw the tall brunette standing there, leaning against his bedpost with that dirt-sprinkled pink shirt on, I knew I was going to be hated by the one boy I had ever loved.

"Norah, what're ya doin' heah?"

"I um… I have to talk to you," I said quickly, wanting to just get this entire thing over with.

"A'ight, shoot," he smiled. I hated how simple he seemed to make everything.

"My mother…" I whispered, not knowing how to tell him when I was so in love with him. _Dammit!_ "I can't see you anymore."

Suddenly his content disposition disappeared, and slowly I watched his eyes start to water.

"What? I thought we – I thought we loved each other."

"Skittery… _James_… I'm so sorry. There's just… so much going on –"

"But we _love _each other," he argued, pushing the fact into my face. Yes, I am _well _aware that we love each other.

"I wish there was some way I could –"

Skittery quickly interrupted me. "D'ya love me or not?"

"It's not that simple…" I tried to tell him the whole story before one of us said something we didn't mean.

"Yeah it is, do ya love me or not?"

"Just slow down and let me talk!"

"No!" He hit the side of his bunk bed while he said it, causing me to flinch.

I could tell he was going to say it one more time. He spoke very slowly, separating every word like it was an easy thing to do. "Do you love me?"

I didn't know what to say. Of course I loved him. I loved him more than I had ever imagined I could ever love anyone, and everyone knew it. But I knew if I said yes, he'd make things so much harder.

"I – " I started to stutter, and then in a flash, I had to make up my mind. "No."

The look on his face was not angry. It was not surprised. It was a look of pure disappointment. My stomach plunged to the ground without any warning, and I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't change my mind as I desperately wanted to do, but I couldn't.

And there I was, running out of the lodging house at full speed before I encountered anyone with my face full of tears. I kept running until I hit a neighborhood that I was completely unfamiliar with, and I suddenly stopped and put my hands on my knees. I started to heave in and out, and at the same time I was choking on my tears, but at this point, I was past the ability to be embarrassed. After all, I had just ruined the one thing that I lived for.

I barely slept that night. Every second I would start to think about anything else, my encounter with Skittery came into my mind, and I wanted to curse at myself a thousand times for even listening to my mother when she said he wasn't good enough for me, and I _hated _her for that. All I could do in that moment was sink into a deep silence with nothing but a wasted past.


	2. What Ever Happened?

The next morning I walked to work with Jane and Margaret, on the look out for Skittery. I had seen him rarely since the breakup. Occasionally on my way to work I spotted him across the street taking off his hat and wiping the sweat off his forehead or selling a paper to an old lady. There was nothing I could do but run and hide beside the nearest building – and stood there watching him in sadness until his disappeared.

People always say that you never forget your first love, but some do. There has never been a moment that I have forgotten him or did not think of him – every thought that crosses my mind eventually traces back to Skittery. But I never had the intention of forgetting him, or even giving him up. For the longest time, I was convinced that I would love him until my death.

"Norah… Norah!" Jane whispered loudly from her sewing machine.

"Hurry up! We've got to finish this shipment by tomorrow!"

I sighed dramatically and began to thread my machine, delicately weaving the thread through the different pieces of the machine, and thought of nothing but getting out of there. I suppose it was true that no one liked working, and I liked sewing, but the _factory. _It was always burning hot and we weren't allowed to open the windows, and we were allowed a lunch break and one more very short break. I knew everyone hated it there, but I also knew that I wasn't meant for this.

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I got home later than usual, and my mother was playing with Lucy. My sixteen-year-old brother Oliver was outside and, as usual, my father was reading the paper.

I went into my room and shut the door, flopping on my bed dramatically. I needed some way out – some way to reconcile what had happened with Skittery. I knew in my heart that I never stopped loving him, and I hated myself for letting my mother make me think otherwise.

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That night I had a dream about him. We were in the countryside on a warm, sunny day, Skittery in his dirty pink shirt and me in an optimistic white dress. I spun around, my long hair waving in the breeze while Skittery held onto my hand tightly as though he did not want to lose me. And his hair was gently ruffled from his old worn out hat, but he was perfect to me. He led me underneath a tree where we lay all day; sometimes sleeping, sometimes kissing. He laid his head on my breast, and in the dream I only remember him saying one thing, over and over.

"Come back to me." He repeated it over and over again, like a song that I couldn't get out of my head.

I woke up, my body drenched with sweat, my heart racing. I felt nothing but disdain for myself letting Skittery go so quickly. He had been my one true love affair in my short life, but I felt the strangest feeling that he was going to be the only one that mattered. I know a lot of people say that, and I can't say that I'll never love anyone again. But what if I honestly believe it?

My eyes rose to the wall, staring straight ahead, my heart thumping loudly. I jumped off my bed and headed towards Oliver's room, sneaking in and quietly filling my hands with pants, a shirt, long johns and a hat, and quickly scribbled a note to my parents.

Dear Mother and Father,

I've been transferred to a factory in Brooklyn. It is actually a good opportunity for me, so please do not be worried. I've been offered housing and food by a family, and I've said that I'd take the job. I'm sorry I didn't say good-bye – I didn't want to make it harder for you.

Love,

Norah

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It was half-past ten by the time I reached my destination, my heart racing faster than a horse, and yet – he was not in sight. I walked by slowly, hanging my head, and soon one of the boys came running up to me.

"Ey, boy, ya gotta name?" I could have recognized Jack's voice from miles away, but tried to keep my distance so he wouldn't recognize me.

"Yeah, uh…" I stuttered, trying to conjure up my most manly voice. "Capper. Nathaniel Capper."

Jack laughed. "Dat's a big name for a little fella like yaself."

"I ain't a little fella," I argued. "I'm eighteen."

"Shoah ya is, kid. Ya got a place ta live?" Jack asked.

I tried following his lead. But then again, talking with a newsie accent wasn't hard after dating Skittery. "Shoah I do. See 'dat buildin'?"

"Yeah."

"'Dat's wheah I live," I told him.

He gave me a funny look. "'Dat's a bakery."

I shrugged. "I nevah said I lived inside."

"Lissen, you'se should come inside. If ya wanna live heah, ya can, but ya gotta earn ya keep by sellin' papes wid' us every mornin'."

"A'ight. I'm in."

He lead me inside the lodging house – a place I had seen many times before – and I was surprised not one of the boys I had met for the second time recognized me as Norah.

"I'm Jack. Jack Kelly. An' 'dis is Race, Specs, Dutchy, Davey, Les, Bumlets, Snoddy, Pie Eater, Boots, Skittery, Mush an' Blink."

They all gave me the nonchalant boy-nod, and went back to their business. Race was busy rambling on about a sure-thing at the track the next day to Dutchy and Specs, while Boots, Mush and Davey were discussing the newest headlines. Skittery stood alone, slumping against the wall. Jack took me upstairs to the bunkroom and assigned me a bed in the corner of the room.

"Youse'll sleep below Blink, a'ight?"

I nodded, trying not to talk whenever I could. I desperately tried not to think of what my mother and father would do the next time they received my letter. I felt so selfish to just leave like that, but I was so haunted by Skittery's presence in my dreams that I needed to be with him.

Dinner consisted of a lumpy brown soup-looking substance. After the meal, most of the boys sat around playing cards, or telling stories of their newest adventures in dating. Skittery, however, sat slightly outside the circle, wary to join in the fun. I felt too nervous to be social, so I started to put the sheets Jack gave me on my bed. I had just gotten one edge of the white cotton sheet under the mattress when I saw a black leather boot stop directly behind me.

"Where ya from kid?" I spun around quickly to see Skittery standing there with a quizzical look on his face.

"'Couple blocks away…" I trailed off, my voice cracking simply by the panicky feeling I had from talking to him for the first time in two years.

"How old is you'se?"

"Eighteen," my voice barely produced a squeak. His lips produced a smile, and I suddenly remembered what he looked like when he was happy.

"Eighteen? You'se is a lil' pipsqueak," he teased.

I shrugged sheepishly. "How old is you'se?" I asked, trying to repeat his accent.

"Jist toined nineteen a few weeks ago," he said proudly, pulling out his suspenders on both sides.

"Well… happy belated birthday," I said, turning back to tuck the rest of the sheets.

"Thanks, little man," he said, giving me a boyish pat on the shoulder, then returning to the group. I closed my eyes tight, and waited for the feeling in my shoulder to come back.


	3. Waiting In Vain

I awoke the next morning to the sound of an old man yelling.

"Hey Race! Snitch! Dutch! Skittery! Get up! When ya get up ya hafta get up! Sell the papes!"

I heard a loud moan escape Jack's lips, and Boots laughed from under him.

"Ey, c'mon, get up Jacky boy," he laughed, smacking him upside the head.

I yawned loudly when Blink stepped on the end of my bed to get down from his bunk.

"Mornin', kid," Blink said, pulling his suspenders up on his shoulders. One by one all the boys migrated towards the bathroom. Across from my bed on the bunk nearest the window, Skittery was rubbing his hands on his eyes, and when he looked over at me he looked melancholy.

"Hey, kid," he mumbled, treading slowly to the bathroom with all the others.

I also made my way into the bathroom, watching as all the others shaved, washed, and combed.

"Ey, kid, ya got any nice clothes?" Jack asked from behind me.

"Uh.. nah…" I said, finding it easier to sound like a boy in the morning as my voice was all scratchy.

"Ey, Snipeshooter, lend 'im a shoit," Skittery said, wiping his face with a towel. "He's 'bout yoah size." Snipeshooter did as he was told, then returned with an extra shirt.

"Thanks," I nodded in the boyish manner, then went into a bathroom stall to change.

"Whadd're ya doin'?" Race said, laughing. "We all guys heah."

"Yeah but uh…" I panicked. All of the sudden I saw a zit on Dutchy's face.

"I'se got a rash. A bad one. It's contagious," I said, hoping to God they'd believe me.

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After a measly breakfast of stale rolls, Jack came up behind me and patted me on the back.

"Ey, youse'll sell wid' Skittery taday, a'ight?"

"Uh… which one's Skittery again?" I asked dumbly so he wouldn't be suspicious.

"Da one in 'da pink shoit who's always in a bad mood," he smirked. Skittery whipped around when he heard what Jack was saying.

"Don't start wid' me, Cowboy," Skittery snapped, lifting a fist as though he'd actually start a fight in the lodging house.

"Alright, alright, boys, break it up," Kloppman said, trying to step in between them.

Skittery took me around to all the best selling places in Manhattan. Occasionally he'd give me tips of how to get people to buy papers from you; act real sick and start limping. We actually had some decent conversations; but I could tell that he had a chip on his shoulder.

"So you'se gotta goil?" I asked Skittery in my fake boy voice.

"Nah." He answered simply, seeming to not wanting to go into any more detail. I felt a sigh of relief rise in my throat.

"Used ta." I looked over and saw his head towards the ground, sullenly pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"What was she like?" I asked, hoping to God he wasn't going to start talking about another girl.

"She was uh…" He suddenly had a pained look on his face. "C'mon, let's finish sellin' so we can get done early."

The rest of the day Skittery acted weird; he barely talked to anyone. Well – he was quieter than usual. Race made his usual comments about him being in a bad mood, that he was "glum and dumb". So I decided to get a little background info.

"Ey, Jacky boy," I greeted, as he was leaning up against a statue outside after I got back from selling.

"Ey, little man."

"Can I ask you'se a question?"

Jack took a puff of his cigarette and nodded. "Shoot".

"What's wrong wid' Skittery? I was sellin' wid' 'im today an' I asked 'im if he had a goil –"

Jack smirked. "'Dat's where ya went wrong."

I turned my head to the side, playing dumb. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Skits got dumped by a goil two yeahs ago an' it's still botherin' 'im."

"Two yeahs ago?" I asked, my heart sinking. And that's when I realized that I was the one who made him this way.

"Yeah. 'Parently she jist came in an' broke up wid' 'im. Somedin' 'bout 'dat she couldn't be wid' 'im. He was bad, though. Wouldn't eat fuh a while"

"Oh…" I trailed off, wanting to run up to Skittery right now and throw my arms around him. I had just turned to go inside when Jack stopped me.

"Dere's a party at Spot's tonight… if ya wanna go. We're goin' dere aftah Tibby's."

"A'ight, shoah I'll be dere."

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I desperately wanted to put on my best frock and spend an hour on makeup and hair, but I put all my feelings aside and dressed in Snipeshooter's white long johns and loose brown pants pulled over them. I pulled up the sleeves a tad, and secured my hair in an army green newsboy cap.

"Ey kid, get whatevah ya want. It's on me since ya haven't been sellin' long," Jack said, messing with my hat.

"Thanks, Jacky boy," I managed in a scruffy enough voice. I tried to nonchalantly look around to see where Skittery was; and sure enough he was sitting with Race. Suddenly everyone was standing up while Jack help up his glass.

"I propose a toast…" he trailed off, looking at his alcoholic drink and thinking what he should toast to. "Ta gettin' drunk!" He suddenly exclaimed.

"Ta gettin' drunk!" Everyone repeated after him with enthusiasm.

"Ey, kid, I'll tell ya somedin'," Blink said, sitting down next to me, backwards in his chair.

"See that goil ovah there?" He pointed to a girl with honey-blonde hair in a blue dress. She was sitting with four other girls.

"Yeah."

"She'll be dere tanight, an' tanight I'm gonna make her mine," he smirked evilly, while winking at her.

"Shoah ya will," Mush cut in, laughing, "jist like the last five times, right?" The other boys laughed and Skittery's face stayed like stone.

"So who ya got yoah eye on, kid?" Mush asked. Suddenly all the boys turned to look at me.

"Uh…" I desperately looked around for a girl that I could pretend to like. My eyes flashed around the restaurant like I was in the hot seat, and I was finally calmed down when I came across a brown-haired girl in a pretty green dress, accompanied by one other girl.

"Dat one."

When she turned around, I gasped. _Margaret and Jane._


	4. A Mess To Be Made

Disclaimer: Hello, all. As usual, I do not own any of the fine newsies, however I do own Norah, Margaret, Jane, and all the other characters not from the movie.

"Well why don' ya talk ta her if ya think she's pretty," Mush suggested.

"Don't –," I heard Skittery say quickly. My heart raced as I looked over at him, holding my breath. I hoped to God he didn't put the pieces together.

"Why not?" Blink said, his eyebrows furrowing.

"'Cause." Blink looked at Mush with a suspicious frown.

"'Cause why?" Race asked.

"Jist 'cause!" Everyone could tell Skittery was getting upset, and suddenly Race spoke up.

"Hey, ain't 'dat –"

Skittery nodded. "Yeah."

The girls, probably hearing the commotion, suddenly looked over at the boys.

"James?" Jane asked, walking over to the table. _Shit! Shit this is not good!_

"James Clark?" Everyone turned to look at Skittery, grinning widely. No answer.

"Do you remember me? I'm Norah's friend –"

"Yeah I know who ya are. Whaddaya want?" He asked not in a rude tone, but sounding troubled.

"We were just wondering if you've seen Norah," Margaret cut in quickly.

Skittery's eyes opened wider, as they flashed from Margaret to Jane, probably hoping that it was a joke.

"I ain't seen her for two yeahs," Skittery answered, stabbing the draw in his drink up and down in his glass.

"If she isn't with James, where could she be?" Jane said, whispering in Margaret's ear with a worried look on her face, and a tear slid down her cheek. Skittery looked up at them and sighed.

"Sorry. I ain't seen her."

Jane's face wrinkled with anger. "You didn't even love her, did you? Do you even care about her?"

Skittery all of the sudden stood up angrily. "Yeah I fucking loved her and I still do!" The restaurant suddenly became silent.

Slowly, Blink stood up and removed his hat. "Have ya met my friend Nathaniel?"

At this point, my heart stopped. I thought for sure I was going to get thrown out of the lodging house and half the newsboys in New York would be chasing me with their wooden swords.

"No, no we haven't," Jane smiled politely at Blink, then turned to me. Her expression dropped and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

"Introduce yourself, kid," Blink nudged me in the rib.

"Nathaniel," I mustered up in my boyish voice.

"Jane and Margaret," Margaret said, looking flabbergasted.

"We uh – we must get back to work," Jane said, breaking her gaze at me.

"May I escort ya?" I asked, my eyes pleading her not to say anything to Skittery.

"Yes you may," Margaret replied quickly, grabbing Jane by the arm and leaving the restaurant quickly. As soon as the door closed and we were out of view, Margaret grabbed me by the arm with a grip I never knew she had.

"Norah, what in the _hell _do you think you're doing?" She demanded, her hands on her hips. I had never seen them this angry.

"Mrs. Collins has been on a war path trying to track you down. What are we supposed to do?" Jane exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, trying to find any sort of reasonable explanation for why I would act like this.

I shrugged. "I love him."

"Well don't you think you're going about it in the wrong way?" Margaret asked. "I mean, quitting your job and running away, pretending to be a boy? What happens when he finds out that you have breasts, for God's sake!"

"Jesus, he already _knows_ Ihave breasts!" I yelled.

"He thinks you're a boy!" Jane said, matching my tone. We were all silent for a moment while we all looked at each other.

"I know you don't understand why I'm doing this, and I can't even begin to explain it," I said in a much quieter voice, "but I need to get him back. He's miserable, and so am I."

"But getting back together with him once you've lied to him isn't going to make you any happier," Jane informed me.

I thought for a while before answering this, but I actually came up with something.

"I've already gave up everything I had; my job, my family, a nice place to live…. and if he doesn't love me, then I've risked and lost everything for the man I love. But if I don't do this, I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

Jane looked at Margaret with a sympathetic look, then quickly rushed forward to hug me.

"Then do what you have to do," she whispered in my ear, signaling at Margaret.

Margaret gave me a small smile and patted my shoulder. "Just _please _take a bath."

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We were the last to arrive at Spot's in Brooklyn, and the part had already started. Jack and Spot shook hands, while he, Blink and Mush joined in on the poker game. Race took me around to meet the regulars at the poker games, including Spot. After Race got me a drink and a cigarette, I stood against the wall looking for Skittery – and suddenly when I looked in front of me, there he was; leaning against the wall across from me. Specs and Dutchy had already had a few drinks and stumbled about behind the poker table, blocking my view of Skittery, and I saw a blonde in a bright yellow dress pass behind them.

My stomach dropped to the ground. Skittery's arm was slung around the girl's shoulder, his drink in the other. I looked at her for what seemed like 10 minutes, trying to decide if she was pretty. Well – she may have been if I was seeing her actual face behind all that cakey makeup. She must have said something funny, because he smiled. He smiled. As my eyes dropped to my drink, I saw a tear roll down and it fell right in the center of my cup.

I wiped the tear from my eye, neither leaving the room crying hysterically nor handling the situation well. I went back and forth from the bar, each time stumbling a bit more until I nearly fell to the ground. I opened my eyes and through my hazy eyes I saw a doorway to the staircase. It must have taken me a while to get up the staircase, but I finally found a bathroom which was vacant.

I sat on the edge of the bathtub, finally letting myself cry as much as I wanted, but I tried to hush myself as much as I could to prevent anyone from knowing it was me. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on any black spot behind my eyelids, but I felt like I was on a rollercoaster, and waves of nausea surged throughout my entire body. Before I could even begin to thin, I stripped off my clothes and got into the bath, the cold water not chilling me nearly as much as it would had I been sober. I closed my eyes and dunk my head into the water, staying down as long as I could to get some sort of clarity out of the whole situation. I had never seen Skittery with another girl.

I came up from the water, my long hair dripping with freezing water as the door swung open, and a drunken Spot came stumbling in. My hands flew to my breasts as I tried desperately to cover myself up. He said nothing for a matter of seconds, then closed the door behind him, blinking at me.

"Do you mind?" I said, my speech noticeably slurred.

"You…. you'se a goil… but I thought you was – " He exclaimed, examining me closely.

"Yes, I'm a girl, very well spotted," I said, rolling my eyes and shivering. He scrunched his eyes shut and opened them, blinking to reveal his diluted pupils.

"Heah," he said, opening the closet and pulling out a towel. He held it out in full size in front of me, motioning for me to get out. Too drunk to refuse, I stepped out and let Spot wrap the towel around me, as he rubbed me with it to get me dry. The whole time my hands held onto the towel tightly, and my eyes were stuck to the floor.

"You're turnin' purple," he said quietly, rubbing my arms up and down quickly. Slowly I moved my gaze up to his face, meeting his clear blue eyes.

"He doesn't love me," I whispered, still slurring, but searching for some answer in his face.

"Who doesn't?" He asked, handing me my underclothes, but I dropped them to the floor.

"Skittery."

"Well, I don't blame 'im. I mean you're goin' around in guy's clothes," Spot laughed.

"But he doesn't know I'm..." I tried as hard as I could to get the words out so he would understand me. "I pretended to be a newsie and he doesn't know…"

Suddenly as I was about to start crying, Spot put a finger up to my lips, and he held it there for a while. With no warning, he took a small step towards me and pressed his lips against mine, and I felt a drop in my stomach.

And somehow, I ended up in his bed.


	5. A Bad Dream

Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own any of the fine newsies, but I do own Norah, Jane, Margaret, and any other character not in the film.

This chapter features a song which is titled "A Bad Dream" by Keane.

Please note the flashbacks so you won't get confused! Anything in 1899 is a flashback – the rest of the story takes place in 1901. Enjoy!

**Newsboys Lodging House, 1899**

"Are you sure we won't get caught?" I asked Skittery as he lead me up the abandoned stairs to the roof. I held onto his hand tighter when I felt a cobweb sweep my forehead.

I saw him smirk through the darkness. "I'm shoah. No one ever comes up heah." I followed him closely until he opened the door to the roof, and I gasped. There were candles everywhere, and a large blanket set on the ground.

"Did you do this for me?" I beamed, looking around in awe as he sat down on the blanket and beckoned me to come and sit with him.

"'A course I did," he replied, taking my hand as I sat between his legs, looking out over the city.

"It's beautiful," I said, placing my hands on either side of his legs.

"Not ta me," he said, kissing the top of my head from behind me. "I been heah too long."

"How long?" I asked, not thinking the city was any less beautiful than usual.

"Since I was ten. My faddah was in jail evah since I was a little kid, 'den my muddah died."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, turning around to give him a kiss, and he complied. He ran his fingers through my hair and I leaned back on his shoulder.

"So what is all this for?" I asked.

"Our anniversary."

I laughed and turned around. "James, our one year anniversary is next Friday."

"Not _that _anniversary. I'm thinkin' a' the anniversary 'dat I foist fell in love wid' ya."

"And when was that?"

"When I foist saw ya…" He trailed off and sighed, as though he had to get comfortable for the long story.

"It was a warm day… one a 'da foist days 'a Spring as a mattah a fact. Anyway… ya had on 'dat light blue dress… y'know, the one wid' tha bow on the back." I smiled, because that was one of my favorite dresses.

"An' I was sellin' a pape to the usual group of old ladies, an' I looked ovah ta see if Race was around 'cause I was outta papes. An' while I was lookin' for 'im, I saw ya…an' for a secon' I thought I was dreamin'. So I looked at ya again, an' you was carryin' your sewin' stuff. I almost couldn't b'lieve ya din't see me, 'cause I was starin' at ya for a long time… an' I wanted ta say somedin' but I din't know what ta say. So I let ya walk on by an' promised myself the next time I saw ya I was gonna say somedin."

"And did you?" I asked, wondering if he had seen me a thousand times before but never said anything.

He shook his head. It took me 'tree weeks. But one day I got the courage ta ask ya ta buy a pape."

I smiled, even though I was facing the other way. "Good thing I did. I might have never met you."

**Newsboys Lodging House, 1901**

I woke up to someone hitting me on the arm and pulling me into the other room.

"What the hell d'ya think you're doin'?" Jack asked, throwing his hands up in the air.

_Why do I have to fly  
Over every town up and down the line?_

"What are ya talkin' about?" I said, playing dumb.

"This," he said, pulling my hat off to display my long, wavy hair. I shut my eyes quickly to think of any possible explanation, but I was horribly hung over.

_I'll die in the clouds above  
And you that I defend, I do not love._

"What the fuck is this?" Jack demanded. My gaze fell to the ground.

"Tell me! What the hell do ya think ya doin'?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, getting worked up. I exhaled and said again quietly, "I don't know."

_I wake up, it's a bad dream  
No one on my side_

"Ya broke 'is heart once, an' now you're back ta do it again? Sleepin' wid' Conlon?"

"No, Jack it isn't like that, okay? Just please listen to me."

He shook his head. "I aint got nothin' ta say ta you'se."

_I was fighting  
But I just feel too tired  
To be fighting  
Guess I'm not the fighting kind_

I waited until all the boys went to bed and the light was off to bathe at the dock. So far no one had noticed that I'd been sneaking off in the middle of the night that I'd noticed, but I was getting awfully tired of sneaking out every night.

On my way to the dock, I saw a thin figure walking toward me and I suddenly stopped breathing. I had no idea who it was – but I could tell it wasn't Skittery. I knew his body too well. He was too thin to be Jack, but his arms were – _Spot._

_Where will I meet my fate?  
Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate_

I froze as he approached me, and he smirked.

"'Ey, whadd're ya doin up? It's late."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I uh… I couldn't sleep and I was just going to go get clean. You?"

_And when will I meet my end?  
In a better time you could be my friend_

He looked down at the ground and back up at me, smiling. "Gettin' clean sounds good."

_Oh, shit. That's not what I meant! _

"But we'll keep our clothes on this time." I couldn't help but smile at him.

_I wake up, it's a bad dream  
No one on my side_

I removed everything but my petticoat, and he kept on his underwear, but there was still a lot showing. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable about the whole situation. I mean, I was trying to get Skittery back, not hop in bed with the first other guy I met. But I didn't plan it, and Skittery had no idea I was there. Besides, I wasn't going to do anything more with Spot.

_I was fighting  
But I just feel too tired  
To be fighting  
Guess I'm not the fighting kind_

I brought the soap to my skin and felt refreshed. I also felt a lot better now that my hang over was gone, but now I had this whole thing with Spot hanging over my head. I mean, I was a virgin, and if I ever got back together with Skittery, I don't know how I'd ever explain it. But I was just getting ahead of myself.

_Wouldn't mind it  
If you were by my side  
But you're long gone  
Yeah you're long gone now_

"So tell me," Spot said, wetting his hair underneath the water. "Why are ya at the lodgin' house again?"

I was floating on my back, trying not to look at his toned chest when I answered.

"I have some unfinished business," I answered as casually as I could.

_Where do we go?  
I don't even know  
My strange old face_

"Yeah?" He asked, swimming over to me. His icy blue eyes pierced mine and I felt trapped, like I knew something was going to happen but I couldn't stop it. "Me too."

_And I'm thinking about those days  
And I'm thinking about those days_

I suddenly felt very, very nauseous. Before I could ask what he was talking about, his lips were on mine, and I heard footsteps on the dock. _Jesus Christ, what's happening now?_

_I wake up, it's a bad dream  
No one on my side_

As I pushed Spot away, I saw Jack standing there, glaring at both of us.

"'Ey, Conlon, I gotta talk ta Norah. Give us a secon', a'ight?"

I had never heard Jack give Spot Conlon orders, but Spot must have known he was doing something wrong. And so did I. I had never felt like such a horrible person in my life. Maybe that's too good of a word to describe my actions. Actually, I had never felt like such a slut in my entire life.

_I was fighting  
But I just feel too tired  
To be fighting  
Guess I'm not the fighting kind_

As soon as I hopped back on the dock, Jack was still staring at me, even though I was only wearing my petticoat. He didn't say a word until my dress was back on. I was breathing deep, nervous and dripping water everywhere. I couldn't even bear to look at him.

_Wouldn't mind it  
If you were by my side_

"Jack," I said, even quieter than a whisper.

His eyes were fierce. "I want you outta heah by tomorrow mornin'."

_But you're long gone  
Yeah you're long gone now._


	6. An Honest Mistake

Disclaimer: I own Norah and everyone else not in The Newsies. Enjoy!

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"Jack, _please! Please _just listen to me! He kissed me!"

Jack looked at me scornfully and turned away. "'Dat ain't what I saw."

"Can we please talk about this? This isn't what it looks like!"

He turned towards me slowly, looking steamed and annoyed.

"I said I want you outta heah by tomorra mornin'. But now you'se can leave tanight."

My heart sunk with fury and frustration. I was sure Skittery would see me if he just knew it was me. Spot had left, but it was too late to defend myself. Alright, I slept with Spot, and then he kissed me. And when I chose to be honest about how I really felt about Spot, I was attracted to him. But I wasn't in love with him… not even close. I didn't long for him the way I long for Skittery – I don't want a relationship with him. And if I was sober, this would never have happened. But it didn't matter, because no one wanted my side of the story.

When I returned to the lodging house, everyone was asleep, so I packed up the few belongings I had, including one dress I brought for when I would secretly meet Margaret and Jane, but I was not ready to be a girl again. I had barely gotten to speak to Skittery, and I didn't even get a chance to get close to him again. And as soon as I was headed out the door, I remembered that I had nowhere to go. I searched for a piece of paper.

_Dear Jack, _

_I know you're upset with me, and I don't blame you. I took your hospitality for granted, and I'm sorry. But even worse, I betrayed your trust. It would take a thousand apologies for all the horrible things I've done, and I can't even begin to say how horrible I was to all of you. The truth is that when I slept with Spot, I had too much to drink, and he followed me in the water to take a bath, and he made the first move. You probably think that I went after him, but I'm begging you to believe the truth. I also want you to know that along with all the other horrible things I've done, it was all to get Skittery back. I'm in love with him, and I went about it in the wrong way. I made a horrible mistake two years ago, and I'm still making them, but I will do everything in my power to let him know that I love him. If there is anything you can do, please tell me. _

_Yours truly, _

_Norah_

I slipped the note on his small, dusty nightstand next to his cigars and headed outside, still remembering that I had nowhere to go. I stood outside the lodging house for about five minutes, thinking about where I could go. Margaret's, Jane's, Brooklyn… but after everything, I decided on a bench in the middle of Manhattan. I had no idea how I was going to fall asleep with everything on my mind. I hadn't come what I came to do. If anything, I just fucked up and ruined the tiny chance that I had of getting back together with Skittery. I felt a tear run down my cheek as I took a silver ring out of my bag and held it in my hand tightly.

**Flashback, 1899**

It was past midnight and I had just gone to bed to get up early for work the next morning. All of a sudden, I woke up to the sound of my bedroom window opening. I clutched the comforter to my chest and my heart began to race – until I saw a familiar pair of dirty brown boots.

"James!" I exclaimed breathlessly in a relieved tone. "I thought – "

"I know, I'm sorry… I shouldn'ta come so late. I jist…."

"Yeah?" I asked, moving over so that he could sit on the bed.

"I wanted ta give ya 'dis. It ain't much… all I can afford, really." After saying this, I held out my hand, and he dropped an inexpensive-looking silver ring in it. I bit my lip, because I could feel tears start to form behind my eyes. I knew it was all he could afford, and that's what made it so incredible.

"James," I sighed, looking at it, holding it tightly. "I'll never take it off," I smiled, putting it on my ring finger, and secretly hoping that someday I would have a wedding ring.

Skittery smirked. "A'ight, but dat's the only thing ya can keep on."

I felt myself begin to blush as he took me in a tight and passionate embrace, and I started to tear up again.

"What is it?" He asked, pulling away.

"Nothing," I answered, trying to keep myself together. "I just love you, that's all."

**Manhattan, 1901**

I sat on the bench until morning when the newsies began to sell. I thought one of the guys would at least look at me, but no one did. It was like Jack told them something horrible about me, and I went white. _Did he tell all of them? Did Skittery know all the horrible stuff I did? If Jack told him, I'd have no chance – _

"Ey kid, what'cha doin' out heah?" I looked down to see the familiar pair of dirty brown boots and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. My now very flat chest.

"Uh… sleepin'," I answered, trying not to look him in the eye.

"Hoid about 'dat fight though," he said, seeming as nonchalant as usual with a cigarette in his hand.

"Fight?" I asked.

"Yeah, y'know, you'se goin' aftah Oscar an' Morris aftah 'dey teased ya. Ya gotta be careful 'round these parts kid, but good for you'se fa stickin' up for yourself. 'Da only bad thing is Jack kicked ya out." I sat there absolutetly blank-faced as I watched him take a puff of his cigarette and exhale calmly.

"Yeah," I murmured. "I got no place ta go," I admitted sadly, this time plucking up the courage to look him in the eye. But as soon as I did, I regretted it. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What?" I asked, making sure my voice was definitely that of a boy.

"Nothin'," he said, shaking it off. "It's jist… ya remind me 'a someone." My heart nearly leapt out of my chest yet again, but I couldn't come this far to brush this off.

"Who?" I asked coolly.

"Oh," he took another puff, but this time it was a bigger one. "Jist this goil I used ta know. She had uh… big hazel eyes, kinda like yours. Anyway, I'll pull some strings for ya kid, see what I can do."

A smile lit up inside me, but I made sure not to look at him again. "Thanks, Skitts."

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That day, I met up with Jane and Margaret during their break and asked them if I could possibly sleep at their houses.

"I wish I could, but my mom would contact your mom and Mrs. Collins… and she'd make you come back to work right away," Jane said. When I looked at Margaret, she looked down. "I'm sorry Norah, but my family's… well, we're having some financial trouble and –

"Don't worry about it," I said quickly, but in a sympathetic tone. "I'll find a place. And if you ever need me to baby-sit to you can work longer hours, just let me know."

Margaret shook her head. "I'm getting all the hours Mrs. Collins will let me have – a twelve hour day shift. It's the horrible pay that's killing me," she said dramatically.

"I'm sorry, Norah," Jane said sadly, putting her clean hand on my dirty one. "I wish we could help."

I shrugged. "You're both helping by being here for me. Right now, all I need is a place to sleep."

Hearing the bell, the girls sprung off to get back inside to work, and I went back to my bench to wait for Skittery to tell me whether he found me a place or not. I was hoping it would be somewhere close, because then I could keep in contact with him. I waited there nearly all night, but he finally came outside around eleven.

"Ey, kid, I got some good news," Skittery said brightly. "Someone'll take ya."

I jumped up, relieved that I finally had a place to stay. "Really? Where?"

Skittery smiled. "The best of the best – I was ovah in Brooklyn 'dis mornin'. Have ya hoid of Spot Conlon?"


	7. Brooklyn Bound

Disclaimer: I own Norah, Jane, Margaret, and other newsies not in the wonderful Disney film. Anyway, thanks for the great reviews and sorry I haven't updated in a while!

**Brooklyn Lodging House, 1901**

Of all the places in New York, of all the lodging houses, I had to stay in Brooklyn with Spot Conlon. It seemed more than ironic, as I had only been thinking of Skittery's face since I had come back for him, and somehow ended up in someone else's bed.

I unpacked the few clothes and other necessities I had brought with me, and at the bottom of the bag laid an old, crinkled letter that had appeared to be in the bag for a while, as I had not remembered packing it. And if I had remembered about that letter, I would have given it to him long ago. I opened up the paper gingerly and sank down onto the bed.

_January 18, 1900_

_Dear James, _

_I am so angered with myself that I have waited this long to write you. But there are a few things you need to know. A year ago today, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I told you a lie. You asked me if I loved you, and you should have known the truth. All those times you tried convincing me that my mother would get over the fact that I was with a newsboy, well, I just wasn't strong enough to do what my heart felt. _

_We were together for seven months when my mother told me. I had just finished school and she said it was time I started looking for a husband… going to fancy parties, being serious about my future as a wife and mother. She said it would be too hard to make a home if neither of us had any money or a higher education. But I was too in love with you. After a few months of arguing about what was best for me, she gave me an ultimatum. I would either become a suitable young woman of society, or I would move out on my own. _

_I knew neither of us could afford a place of our own. Even if we were married, I couldn't have subjected you to taking care of both of us. I couldn't stand to see you suffer just to put food on the table for me. So when I told you I didn't love you, I was trying to save both of us from the evil that I know will always haunt us. We will always be poor, but it does not matter to me. The best life I could possibly have is a life with you._

_After I told you I didn't love you, I visited Mrs. Jacobsen, who had taught me sewing and embroidery. I have known her for nine years. I was coming from her house when you first saw me last year and I was carrying my sewing basket. I told Mrs. Jacobsen about my situation, and she found me a job with Mrs. Collins at the factory, where Margaret and Jane were already working. My mother told me that I could live at home to save money, since I was now "single" and ready for marriage. But I continued working for the hope that one day, I might find you again, and maybe you could learn to love me again._

_That being said, my heart aches for you every night. I have another pillow next to my own pillow just so I can feel the comfort of how I used to feel at night, wrapped up in your arms when you used to sneak in through my window. I hold onto the edge of my pillow and feel your rough, calloused hands intertwined with mine. And while my hand is rested next to my face, I feel the heaving of your chest, where my hand once was, gently rising and falling while you sleep. _

_I remember when you said you wanted to make love to me, and that I wasn't ready. But what I wasn't ready for was this. This longing. It didn't matter that you never made love to me, because I've already lost you, and I've already hurt a million times more than I ever thought I could. In my sleep I can only imagine the rhythm of our two bodies, where I would give myself to you completely. Now all I have of you is a figment of my mind, and it breaks my heart that with each day, I'm starting to forget a little bit of your face, a few of those scars on your body that I could place in my mind with my eyes closed. I cannot continue each day knowing that I am not yours, and not knowing if I ever will be again. _

_Sincerely,_

_Norah May Levy_

My chest heaved with concentrated sobs until my stomach hurt from the jolting pulses. I probably stayed there, curled up in a ball for a while until someone barged in my room. It was more than barging even; he came in all moody with his big feet stomping around. Did he really think that was attractive? But when I looked at his face, I was shocked. He was all nervous, and his hands were tucked away in his pockets. He started pacing.

"What do you want?" I snapped. Spot shifted his weight on both feet. He couldn't even look me in the eye.

"I jist came ta tell ya 'dat we'se is all goin' ta Cahill's fuh dinner. So… if you wanna come…."

"I'm not hungry," I replied quickly with no emotion, stuffing my letter back in the suitcase and began hanging up some of my dresses.

"A'ight… well… I guess I'll bring ya back somedin'."

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I stayed in bed for what seemed like hours, and finally the Irish boys of Brooklyn came back from Cahill's, clanging around the lodging house. I waited for Spot to bang on the door, but he didn't…. at least, not for a while.

And when he did, he was just as nervous, if not more, as before. And this time, he knocked. Politely.

"Come in," I said nonchalantly. He slipped in quickly and carefully closed the door behind him. He stood at the edge of my bed for a while as I looked up at him expectantly.

"How was your nap?" Spot questioned politely.

"It was… fine, I guess. What do you want?" I asked with much less hostility than last time. I was more confused than frustrated.

"I need ta say somedin. An' I need you ta know 'dat I've nevah said 'dis kind 'a thing ta a girl."

I nodded and shrugged. "What is it?"

He started pacing again, then stopped dead in his tracks, and got a kind-of apologetic smirk on his face. It was so Spot.

"I'm sorry I seduced ya an' everythin'. I'm jist… I'm mad at Skitts for what he did."

I shook my head in confusion. "Did?"

He sat down on the bed, but a careful distance away, and talked slowly.

"After ya broke up wid' Skitts, he din't know why. Him an' me kinda 'came good friends, 'cuz my girl Adelaide had just broke up wid' me an' we was both heartsick. So when he talked about ya, I could tell he still was in love wid' you'se, but some 'a the things he said about ya… well… they ain't true."

"What did he say?" I asked, staying absolutely still. I was expecting him to be happy about telling me how horrible Skittery was, but he looked hurt, like he didn't want to tell me.

"He called you'se some names dat… don't apply ta you'se at all. I know he was angry, but now 'dat I know you, and what you're like… most of the time anyways," he smirked, then continued.

"It jist hurts me ta know you'se is goin' back ta someone who talked bad about ya, dat's all. You should be wid someone 'dat… respects you'se. Ya know... as a woman." Spot shrugged like it was nothing that he was trying to look after me. It was sweet in a way, but I still didn't understand why he was being so nice.

"I…. hurt him too. I know James sometimes says things he doesn't mean when he's hurt, but… he and I are no good without each other. I just don't understand why you're being so…"

"Nice?" He read my mind. He bit his lip and looked down at his feet, then back up at me.

"'Dat's why I said I nevah said anythin' like 'dis to a befoah. 'Cuz I haven't. But I gotta tell ya how I feel, Nor…." He trailed off and took a deep breath, then made his plea.

"Pick me. I know I fucked up. Sorry… _messed_ up…. But I wanna make ya happy. I like 'dat you're feisty, an' I like 'dat you got a big heart. An' I like _you_. I can see how ya think I'm jist after sex an' all 'dat, but lately I jist… I can't get you outta my mind."

It was like taking a bullet to the chest. It hurt me to know that while I thought he was just horny and malicious, it turned out that he was serious about me, but I wasn't serious about him. I couldn't be when it was a mistake and I was only in love with one man. No doubt about it, Spot was gorgeous, but he couldn't be the one I was supposed to end up with. When I looked into his deep blue eyes, and remembered how angry James had been at me, I began to wonder. Was it possible to love two men at once?


End file.
